What to Expect When Grieving

COMMON DIMENSIONS OF GRIEF:

 Feelings

• shock, numbness, denial, disbelief
• anxiety, fear, panic
• loss, emptiness
• loneliness
• sadness, depression
• loss of pleasure
• hurt, frustration
• helplessness, hopelessness
• explosive emotions — anger, hate, resentment, jealousy
• guilt, regret
• disorganization, confusion
• relief, emancipation
• reconciliation, re-establishment

Thoughts

• disbelief
• confusion
• preoccupation with the deceased
• sense of presence
• lack of concentration
• trouble remembering things 

Behaviors

• absent-minded behavior
• crying and sobbing
• restlessness, inability to sit still
• trying to “stay busy”
• visiting places or carrying objects which remind you of the deceased
• treasuring objects belonging to the deceased
• avoiding reminders of the deceased
• experiencing “grief attacks” — sudden, acute upsurges of grief
• dreams of the deceased

Social Dimensions

• social withdrawal
• fearful of being alone
• dependent, clingy behavior
• surround yourself with others as a form of distraction
• irritable
• moody
• attempts to replace the loss
• changes in role, status, family system

 Physical Dimensions

• fatigue, lack of energy
• hollowness in the stomach, stomach-ache, other gastrointestinal disturbances
• sleep difficulties (too much or too little; interrupted sleep)
• weight loss or weight gain (with associated appetite changes)
• feelings of emptiness and heaviness
• heart palpitations, trembling, shaking, hot flashes, and other indications of anxiety
• nervousness, tension, agitation, irritability
• shortness of breath
• headache
• muscle aches and pains
• chest pain, pressure, or discomfort

 Spiritual

• searching for meaning
• asking the “why” questions
• mystical experiences
• reassessing values, beliefs, and priorities
• feeling anger at God
• feeling abandoned by God
• experiencing comfort from God and faith community
• exploring new dimensions of faith
• using rituals to help the healing process
• prayer and meditation